


Smoke

by MKramarenco



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Joey Tribbiani, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gay Chandler Bing, Getting Together, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Smoking, chandler bing needs a hug, or for joey to kiss him, really a lot of smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24431986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MKramarenco/pseuds/MKramarenco
Summary: Chandler is miserable so he smokes. Joey just wants to know what's wrong.
Relationships: Chandler Bing/Joey Tribbiani
Comments: 9
Kudos: 330





	Smoke

It was late and all Chandler wanted to do was have a smoke.

He had been craving some since realizing his feelings for his best friend, his roommate, his Joey. Well, not _his_ … just Joey.

It had been a rather painful realization. One day it’d been just Joey, his flirty and dumb friend; and the next he started catching on to the thoughts of how adorable Joey actually was when confused, or how he looked all soft and rumpled and honestly _adorable_ in the mornings, or simply just how he was so attractive with all his self confidence and playful smirks.

He had an actual panic attack. It made it hard to breathe to know he was a little bit more like his father than he wanted. Sure, he didn’t dress up like a doll or run after twenty year-old guys, but just the fact that he liked men was enough for him to freak out. A lot.

Putting things into perspective, it made sense. He had never been able to last more than a month with a girlfriend cause he got bored. He wasn’t good at _the sex_ , and yet he found himself wishing for pleasure in a way that he didn’t find when having sex with a girl, which he hated thinking about.

So, as the only possible reaction, he had freaked out and ran away. It took about three days of being at a hotel drinking, smoking and barely sleeping before he went back to his friends, who were worried sick. Monica hit him after making sure he had eaten and slept after returning. It took about a week before Joey was able to look at Chandler without worry reflecting in his deep brown eyes.

So fast forward to four months in the future, with Chandler still hopelessly pining and Joey being hopelessly oblivious.

In a moment of weakness Chandler had asked for help to the girls. Once the squeals were over, they had been actually comforting, trying to help him through his misery.

Of course, it didn’t change anything, but at least his friends were accepting and they had his back. Well, at least the girls did, he doubted Ross would be actually okay with it.

He was laying on his unmade bed, the blankets pooling around him not bringing any kind of comfort. It was a cold night and yet he didn’t feel the need to bury himself in piles of fabric, which was unusual since that was something he craved on cold nights.

He had noticed how there was a tiny hole in his ceiling and it was driving him nuts, so finally having had enough, he got up and left the comfort of his room.

The living room/kitchen was silent and dark, which was obvious given that it was almost 4am. He looked around inside a vase, that was usually empty but a few months ago he had started using as a secret stash for cigarettes, till he found an unopened pack. Putting that in the pocket of his coat, along with a lighter, he left for the rooftop.

It was cold and windy, and yet he found comfort in that and the cigarette that soon took place between his fingers.

The first drag felt like breathing after a long time under water, the second like a knot in his chest unraveled and the third like he could finally relax a little.

He kept on smoking while watching the city at his feet, the lights flickering in the darkness of the night, people always wandering the streets. It was true what they said, about NY being the city that never slept. It was constantly overflowing with people, full of life and hope to find a new beginning.

He felt stupid, there was people out there having way bigger issues and there he was, making his way through a whole pack of cigarettes, the little paper tubes being consumed with every drag he took, just because of a stupid crush.

Except…

Except it wasn’t stupid and he felt like his sadness was legitimate.

He was hopelessly in love with his male best friend. He lived with said roommate for God’s sake! He had to live with the sight of him getting out of the bathroom in just a towel with droplets of water running down tan skin. He had to live with Joey bringing girls every other night, listening to them having sex through the stupidly thin walls. He had to live with his hugs every time he got a role in a play or show, every time he was excited about something, every time he was sad, every time he felt like it.

Cause he couldn’t say no to Joey. He couldn’t say no to those big bright doe eyes. And it was so fucking unfair.

He was working through his sixth cigarette when he heard the heavy door of the roof opening and steps coming his way. Seconds later, the man that hunted his thoughts at any single moment of the day and night leaned against the rail that separated them from the city.

“How many have you had already?”

Chandler shrugged, not wanting to make eye contact just yet since his longing was so close to the surface it might show in his eyes.

“Okay, give me one.”

That made him look, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Joey half smiled, his hand still extended towards him, palm facing upwards.

“What? Thought you were the only one that had ever smoked?”

He choked a little in the smoke coming out of his mouth before answering, his voice rough because of all the cigarettes he had already consumed.

“Well, no, but I didn’t think you still did it.” He took one out of the small box and handed it along with the lighter. He watched Joey light the paper tube before taking a long drag.

It was mesmerazing, the way Joey’s fingers held the delicate tube of paper between them. How his lips wrapped around the filter with each drag and how his throat looked under the city lights each time he threw his head back to blow out the smoke.

Joey smiled softly after a few drags.

“Yeah well, it’s been a long day. And I woke up to get a glass of water and you were nowhere to be seen so I got worried. I was kinda scared you would pull the same shit you did a few months ago. I was so glad when I opened that door and saw you. And there’s not much else to do to keep you company.” He shrugged, before taking another drag.

Chandler wondered how he did it. How he managed to look so graceful most of the time without trying. He was so clumsy and awkward it always amazed him to see other people be effortlessly elegant.

And Joey was. Sure, most of the time he was a little rough around the edges, but it was in a childish kind of way.

He managed to tear his eyes away from his friend, taking a drag from his own almost finished cigarette.

“Why do you think I want company?” It would have been rude if it wasn’t for the way his voice cracked a little when saying it. He hated how it sounded vulnerable and small.

Joey shrugged again.

“I didn’t. But I want to make sure that you don’t run away again. And I like to think you feel comfortable enough around me to tell me what’s wrong.” He turned his head to look directly into bright bright blue eyes “And don’t even try to deny it, you’ve been acting weird for a while now and even though I wanted to give you some space, I’ve had enough. I can’t keep watching you destroy yourself over something I don’t know about.” He made a gesture towards the box laying over the rail, the lighter by its side.

Chandler exhaled, the butt still between his fingers after having put it out a few seconds ago. Well, maybe he hadn’t been as good as hiding it as he had thought.

“I just… I can’t… You would hate me Joe, and I wouldn’t be able to cope with that.” And it felt so scary and so good to be honest, even for just a minute. He even felt a bit lighter.

Joey looked away, staring at the city in front of them. If Chandler looked close enough he could make out the hurt over Joey’s features.

“Right…” He put the cigarette still unfinished out, only after having taken a few drags. “I sometimes can’t understand why you think so lowly about me Chan, even after all these years. I mean, I get it, you have trust issues with all of your parents fiasco and stuff. But I think I’ve proven to be a good friend, so I don’t get it. But it’s fine. Just know that I would never be able to hate you.”

He turned around and starting walking towards the door.

“You would hate me cause I’ve lied to all of you for years.”

Joey turned around, watching Chandler leaning against the rail, not looking at him.

He stayed quiet, knowing not to disturb the glimpse of vulnerability his roommate was showing.

“I’ve hurt so many people like me, just because I was scared. And I’ve lied for years, because accepting myself would just change everything I’ve worked so hard to built.” He turned around slowly, his eyes meeting Joey’s.

He looked up at the night sky where the stars were impossible to see due to the bright lights of the city. So it was just plain black. He then went back to staring at Joey.

“I’m gay.” He watched it click in Joey’s head, felt the fear get a grip on his heart and start squeezing. “And I love you.”

He could do this, he had to not have a panic attack in that moment.

Inhale.

Joey’s eyes were wide, his cheeks flushed because of the cold wind.

Exhale.

He was frozen, couldn’t move, the cigarette butt still between his fingers.

Inhale.

Joey finally moved, reducing the space between them to a couple inches in the amount of time it took him to get air into his lungs and then release it. Oh god, he was going to punch him. Joey was going to punch him and hate him and ask him to leave.

Exhale.

And then, before he could go on breathing Joey’s hands were cupping his face. Warm, soft lips crushed against his own and a tiny sound escaped his mouth without him allowing it, something between a moan and a squeak.

Joey kissed him with both passion and gentleness, leaving him breathless. He moved his lips with an intensity that made his stomach flip, bitting and sucking with no concern for his poor little heart. When Chandler opened his mouth to suck in some oxygen he was cut short when a tongue licked its way into his mouth, sweeping over his bottom lip in the process and making him squirm.

Hi hands found their way to Joey’s hips, bringing them closer and pressing their hips together, feeling a long hardness press against his thigh. He moaned into the other’s mouth, wanting to feel the pleasure he had denied himself for so long.

But he really, really had to clear something out first.

He tore himself away, relishing in the little whine that left Joey’s mouth when he did so.

“Wait, wait. I… wait. Why are you kissing me.” It sounded way more like a demand than a question but he was more interested in the answer rather than inflection and all that.

Joey had the nerve to roll his eyes before answering.

“Because I love you too, you dufus. I was scared of telling you cause, you know, gay stuff has always made you freak out.” He then proceeded to smile softly. “Guess I shouldn’t be scared anymore…”

Chandler smiled too without helping it, leaning down bravely to peck the other’s lips softly.

“So, wanna go back and have some fun?” He made a point by rolling his hips a little, Joey closing his eyes and moaning obscenely, throwing his head back and exposing the skin of his neck, that Chandler most definitely wanted to mark.

 _Later_ , he thought.

When Joey looked back at Chandler his pupils were so dilated there was almost no chocolate brown left.

“You bet your sweet ass I want to do that.”

And if it took them more than a few minutes to get back to the apartment, no one needed to know.

**Author's Note:**

> So, there, I’ve had this in my drafts for months now and I was going a little crazy over the unfinished work. I have way to many unfinished fanfics and all of them from different fandoms, but Chanoey has a special corner in my heart. I was going to write the explicit, like what would come next, but english is not my first language (sorry if there are any mistakes) and I don't think it would have been that good. Let me know if you want it though, this fandom definitely needs more smut, ya know? Anyways, sorry again if there are mistakes and thank you for reading! Hope you like it!


End file.
